So I’m about 3 and a 1/2 weeks post tummy tuck and feel it’s important to share the REAL stuff about the tummy tuck recovery. The stuff you don’t think to ask, the stuff no one talks about and the stuff that is beyond the technical elements, such as when your drains will come out and when you’ll poop properly again.,

I have been told by my doctor that because of how thin my muscles are, I really need to essentially be on bed rest, more or less. I can do basic things but he continues to stress that I REALLY need to be resting and taking it easy.

For an active mother, that’s used to working out daily, this jarring lifestyle change can affect you in more ways than expected.  

In this post, I share my emotional and personal struggles and what I am doing to overcome them. Everyone’s journey is different, so you may face different struggles, or none at all, hopefully! I decided to be vulnerable and honest and share how I actually feel, in hopes that it helps some of you prepare and gives you ideas on what you can do to feel better.

Going from Active Mother to Bed Ridden

Mama with kids on the couch

Okay, so the first almost 2 weeks weren’t too emotionally challenging, as I had embraced the idea of taking the time to heal and was focused on total recuperation. I was also fully distracted by the pain, discomfort and survival skills, that I really didn’t have space for any other concerns or issues.

I spent the first two weeks resting, watching Bravo or Netflix series, meditating and chillin’. I’d like to say I read and journaled more, but frankly, I was too shot to put any thoughts together or to strain to read. There were hours on end at times where I would find myself literally just staring at the wall in complete contentment.

However, I was also had prepared effectively for my recovery with my au pair tending to the kids when they weren’t at camp and having either my husband or mother here to support me.  This allowed me to really chill without any added stress.

It’s all fun and games until your au pair quits

However, 1 week and a 1/2 after my surgery, our au pair unexpectedly left, without notice. Yep. Literally just ghosted us. Thankfully my husband was home that Friday, and then we had the weekend together, so I had his help being home from work, but had that not been the case, we would have been even more up the creek than we were, given that I was advised to not lift my children until 10 weeks were up.

I spent the entire weekend and following week, at 2 weeks post surgery, with 3 little kids to boot, interviewing au pairs and temporary sitters, then hiring and training them. The stress on my body was next level, which really drained my minimal energy and impacted my hormones, thus making me quite emotional.

By the way, this is all happening during a time of mercury’s retrograde and an intense eclipse period. Coincidence? I think not.

Suffice it to say, since then, I’ve pieced together a make shift childcare situation comprising of my mother some days, a sitter some days, and an au pair arriving in 4-5 weeks time.

With this makeshift child situation, I haven’t had the same sense of ease and ability to exhale and heal without overseeing, directing and managing all of the actions in the house. To no fault of the sitter or my mother, but they are not here, living it day in and day out, to know what to do in each and every unique situation. Also, it takes time for the kids to get used to someone else taking charge and for the sitter to know how to discipline them in an effective and appropriate way. Also, even if the sitter is perfect, it takes time for my kids to get used to a new person and they still want Mommy. This all does not allow me to have a completely stress free, zen like healing experience.

The Down & Dirty Emotional Journey

Anywho, aside from not being able to just kick it and watch Netflix, I also am too tired to socialize, see friends and make conversation. My kids are 20 months, 3 and 5 and with their ages, even just the basic tending to their needs, with help, post surgery, exhausts my body and mind to another level. Having about 1-2 plans per week is about all I can handle. Even if someone is coming to visit. I still find that I over extend myself emotionally when I have visitors.

It’s difficult because I feel isolated already from not being able to go about your normal daily routine, like going to the gym, running errands, going to pick up and drop off at camp with my kids, interacting with others, whatever, but then I also don’t have energy to connect with people voluntarily. This has made me feel a bit isolated and down. I feel badly making plans with people that I want to see because I feel I can’t really be fun and engaging, and I never want to feel like I was a bore or wasted anyone’s time.

Affects of Not Exercising

Not being able to work out has been really, really hard. My body is so used to working out, that not being able to go burn off steam and get a good, solid sweat sesh in to release any tension in my mind and body has been a challenge for me.

Working out makes me feel accomplished, boosts my serotonin and helps me sleep better at night. Given that I have such thin muscles and have been told to rest, rest, rest, I am not supposed to even do a basic walk around the block yet.

Given that I am not out and about or even doing productive things around the house, due to not being able to lift anything, and I’m not interacting with many people, I often end the day feeling unfulfilled and not ready to get a restful night’s sleep. Which leads to staying up later than normal, getting poor sleep and then poor attitude, energy and eating decisions the following day.

Poor Sleep

Also, given that my sleep wasn’t great the first week and a half due to discomfort, I embraced the fact that since I wasn’t going to be able to sleep anyway, I might as well stay up and watch TV (something I rarely do). This got me into a poor sleep cycle that I haven’t properly corrected yet.

Life on Hold

Last gripe, before I get to how I’m going to correct all of this, is that it’s just very hard to not feel like you’re not an extra burden on everyone & frustrating to not be able to just enjoy all the elements of being alive – like doing the basic things for yourself, lifting your kids, up, running to meet a friend, all of it. It just feels like you’re in a complacent state of life, which is very difficult for a women filled with dreams and aspirations.

What I’m doing to keep my spirits high

Finding Peace

I’m at peace with whatever has taken place this last week and a half that caused me to go a little bit off the rails. My indulgence in TV, late nights, extra screen time, extra carbs and general indulgence, may have been just what my body and mind needed following such an intense surgery and immense stress. Giving myself grace and finding peace is the most supportive thing I can do for myself.

Gratitude

I am thankful for my mother and husband for going above and beyond to support me during this trying period. I am thankful for the sitters who have been coming to me at a moment’s notice and for the community at large for being so supportive in offering to help me find sitters, take my kids out, and checking in to see how I feel and seeing how they can help. I am focusing on practicing gratitude to put myself in a positive state, versus focusing on my obstacles.

Routine

Given that I am a creature of habit, it’s always been super critical for me to set up healthy routines so that a healthy and supportive routine is my default. This helps put me in an optimal mental and physical state daily. Since my current routine has to be modified, I am going to set up a new routine that will support me on this healing journey, until I’m able to resume to normalcy.

At 5:30pm, when the kids have dinner, I will have my dinner and supplements, ensuring I eat early enough to get a good night’s sleep and get all of my supplements in to help support me in feeling more calm and zen. Right now, those supplements will be magnesium, collagen peptides and relax max. To learn more about these affects of these supplements and optimal sleep habits, check out this post.

I am going to turn my phone on ‘Do not disturb” at 8:30pm every night so that I can focus on reading, meditation and decompressing, leading me to fall asleep by 9:30pm.

After a restful night’s sleep, I’ll wake up feeling more refreshed and start my day with a cleansing body shower to wake my mind and body up. Once the kids are at camp, I’ll do my meditation practice followed by my morning pages to get me in a zen vibrational space.

I’m going to use the quiet mornings when the kids are at camp to work on my blog that fuels my creative juices and fulfills me and plan to have 1 personal engagement each week, like a playdate at my house for an hour and a half, to give me some time for personal connection.

I’m also going to spend my down time reading news and motivational books, to help me feel informed and connected.

Productivity

Once I start to feel a bit better, I will slowly start to tackle in home projects that don’t cause me to overly exert myself, such as cleaning out my closet and separating clothes to either be donated or sell them on poshmark, for example.

Setting up a new routine like this will help me feeling productive, connected, informed and fueled, which will help me sleep better and feel better.

Nutrition

I’m making more of an effort to hydrate more frequently and add more fruits and vegetables back into my diet to help me feel more energized and positive. To learn more about the healing foods I’m eating and what I’m doing nutritionally to support myself during this healing period, check out this post.

Letting Go

I’m letting go from my high expectations of myself and trying to control everything. This is a season of my life where I need to let go and trust the process. The more I work against the process the more it will backfire.

Even after writing this alone, I’m feeling more motivated and excited about using my time and energy in a different way.

Please let me know in the comments below if you can relate to any of this or if this helped you!

xo

Misha

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